Day 27: Still Sick

I don't feel well today I still have a sinus infection and I tried all kinds of herbs and vitamins to feel better. I took ecinacea, oregano oil, garlic, h2o2, ibprofen, a multi-vitamin and some kind of immune booster and I took some pills more than once and more than on pill, I also tried a nedipot and nothing helped I still feel like shit but worse now because I have developed a massive stomach ache, I think I may have taken way too many pills on an empty stomach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting an extreme sinus infection because of a memory of being sick recently where I felt so sick that I could hardly move

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming so sick that I might have to go to the doctor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how much going to a doctor may cost

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unsure of how come I developed this sinus infection and just panic and look for ways to get over it rather then breathing and fully allowing myself to feel the pain that I have created

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be self-intimate with me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to put off writing in my blog for today and use the excuse that I'm too sick to write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about it more than once using being sick as an excuse to put writing off

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed back-chat to justify why I can not write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress self-expression

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to slow down and be here equal and one with and as breath and listen to my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear physical pain and make the pain worse by trying to avoid it at all costs

damn it, I just rubbed both eyes again

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for rubbing both of my eyes

oh shit I just did it again what the heck
Breathe in 1234, hold 1234, Breathe out 1234...

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to write out self-corrective statements as a means to support myself when the moment comes where I'm tested in real "real time"whether I will stand equal and one to and as the words I speak

I now see realize and understand that self-corrective statements are a requirement for me to follow through with my self-forgiveness and it is a chance to practice self-honesty in a moment

I see realize and understand that for me to correct myself I require to support myself through writing out self-corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I will not be able to correctly write out self-corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to thoughts and give my power away to thoughts

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remain here to support myself to be present thus able to see directly within a single moment and direct myself accordingly and walk my self-corrective statements and support myself with self-corrective statements as a map to follow when and if the moment arises that I must walk through my self-created points of self-dishonesties, separation and abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I don't know how to write out self-corrective statements and create a block for myself when writing out self-corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-correction

I commit to practicing remaining here and flag pointing when I allow myself to go into my mind eg. Rubbing both eyes at the same time or feeling energy movements in my solar plexus or in my throat and neck areas. And breath speak self-forgiveness in the moment and delete the thought and also write down the primary point that I allowed to move me and direct me to further investigate here within this blog