Monday, November 19, 2012

Day 27: Life is NOT a dream



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remain present here equal and one within and as my human physical body while resting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind take over while sleeping and  cause physical discomfort within my body because I was not here in my body but in my mind unaware of the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think while I'm asleep

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and think about what my dream could have meant rather then looking directly and working with what is here in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shut-down just now and rub my eyes to not see what is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pre-program myself to automatically and systematically react to supporting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses and back-chat that I can't do it and think of self-limiting words in my mind so that I will give in and give up on myself while at the same time rubbing my eyes and not aware that I'm participating in this physical shutting down until I've been rubbing my eyes for a few seconds

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remain here fully present in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist writing self forgiveness on remaining here because I think I can't actually do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I still have way to much shit within myself that I need to forgive myself for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am stuck in the middle of not being able to remain here because I have not been supporting myself and also not being able to support myself without remaining here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that self-support through writing and being here are not separate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self/one here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought come up that I don't know where I'm going with my writing and I should stop or think of something specific and meaningful to write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write with an idea that I will continue writing about a point the next day and then all day today worry that I won't know how to approach my next blog

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by looking for answers from knowledge and information and try to take those memories and apply them to a new moment all the while recreating the past never here present directing myself in the moment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to remain here thus I forgive myself to in those moments when I see that I am looking for knowledge information and memories to forgive myself and delete the thoughts, memories, pictures etc.



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