I woke up sick this morning, my face has been hurting all day I have a massive headache, and I keep sneezing at first I was just stuffed up and then my left nostril started to drip like a leaky faucet and it still is its strange because its only the left side. I will look on the Desteni forum to see what this might indicate. I'm still feeling tired and congested I just don't know what brought this on. The first thing I recall after the feeling like my face was bruised when I first woke up was I remembered a dream I had and it was about a man with a magic carpet and he was going to take 3 people and I on a flight he was a white man with a beard and the other 2-3 people I don't remember them and the white man took up most of the room he was wearing shorts and we all tried to fit on this small carpet and it was too small so I was trying to position myself so I wouldn't fall off but the man told me that this is not the way to do it there is a way it is done but it's not conventional or something like that anyway we went along for the ride and we got to our location and it was this hotel/saloon type of place and when we arrived I noticed people where there from the old state I used to live in and I noticed some that I had seen before but wasn't friends with them they may be have been people I went to high school with or lived near or maybe even worked with but I just knew them in passing not directly and I remember not wanting to look at them because if they saw me they might want to talk about old times and I felt like I looked shitty because I had just woken up and I hadn't showered nor got ready and I recall thinking to myself in my dream that I looked really shitty and wondered why I decided to wear such odd clothing and then I saw my cousin and I feared seeing him too but my hair was long so I hoped he would not recognize me. The other people went to have a seat and order food to eat and I went to the ladies room so that I could fix myself up a bit because I didn't want all the people from my past to see me in such a disheveled state so anyway in the bathroom there were these small oval mirrors hung up on the wall maybe 5-7 or so and there were other women there too they were all taking up all the mirrors and I was in a hurry and wanted to look at myself and when one finally opened up there was this girl there with her friend and here friend said oh she has to look in the mirror she has acne and one of her pimples is ready to pop in a few hours and I just giggled like okay? But at the same time I could sympathize with her because I picked my face too although, I was more concerned with being able to look at myself in the mirror. I think I glanced at myself momentarily and then let her use the mirror since she seemed to need it more than I did. Then I got back to the table and my roommates where there and I took so long they had all finished eating and my food was sitting on the table cold. I was a bit worried they would be upset that I took so long and at the same time I didn't want anyone from my past to see me so I was a little less concerned about them being upset with me for taking so long but the cold food sitting alone on the table was quite noticeable so no one really had to point everything out it was quite obvious and no one said anything. So I was just about to eat and I heard someone say my name and I was like shit shit shit in my mind thinking fuck this sucks now I have no other choice than to speak to them but I just ignored their calls and the dogs came into my room and woke me up and then I noticed my head pounding my my face hurting and feeling extremely stuffed up and congested.
The end I will see what points to write self-forgiveness on in my next blog.
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