Day 5: My first Boyfriend

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into resistance when looking at points regarding relationships

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a relationship because I felt sorry for the other person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I was superior to my first boyfriend because he was younger and shorter than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a relationship with my first boyfriend because I wanted to feel special and wanted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a relationship with my first boyfriend because "he made me feel good about myself"

I forgive myself that I did not allow or accept myself to see that I was in separation with myself through seeking justification and approval from another being before I would accept myself

I forgive myself for accepted and allowing myself to be addicted to the energy of flattery

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a relationship where I placed myself as superior so that I could have things go my way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another being so that I could satisfy my ego

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into relationships because I was flattered with words spoken to me and then I felt good about myself, appreciated, respected, noticed and desired

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek being noticed, appreciated, respected and desired

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for justification of myself and who I am within a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a relationship based on the energy I got from my ego being rubbed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist writing self-forgiveness on relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing what I have accepted and allowed within relationships

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enter into relationships so that I would have someone to keep me company

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into relationship to acquire energy through sex

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek relationships for stimulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body and the body of another for energy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be in a relationship for sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek comfort and security within relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue a pattern of going into one relationship after another without even properly ending the other so that I never had to be alone and intimate with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to end relationships because when things got to complicated or when points required for me to open up about myself I ran in the other direction so that the person I was in relationship with would never see who I really was or what I was allowing myself to participate in and see that I was just using them for my own benefit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use men and only date so that I could in some way benefit either through receiving compliments, money, gifts or sex

I forgive that I have only ever used men in relationships and never actually saw them or considered standing equal with them as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing myself fully with another human being because I have not actually allowed myself to be intimate with me and accepted me and my past

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to forgive myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in, in the past and to feel ashamed for what I have done

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being intimate with beings because I fear being intimate with myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this as an excuse for why I was unwilling to open up

I forgive myself that I have not accepted to take responsibility through writing and speaking self forgiveness about my past because I can use this as an excuse to not face myself and not face myself with another in a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to break up with my first boyfriend because we go along so well and we never fought because he always agreed with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame him of being cowardly because he never disagreed with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in both polarities of wanting to be right and also wanting to be wrong so that I could get energy from him through causing conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if he was not able to stand against me he would not be able to stand up for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that a women is fragile and must have someone to protect her

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others so much so that I looked for protection from men

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in relationship systems of abuse in this world through accepting and allowing myself to think, believe, and perceive that there is always a winner and a loser in relationships and in this support physical and verbal abuse to manifest

I will no longer allow myself to participate in games of winning and losing
I commit myself to close any back-doors to seek refuge within my mind as back-chat, blame and separation

I commit myself to writing and allowing myself to be intimate with myself in seeing what I have accepted and allowed and to forgive myself and let go of the patterns I have created and participated in once and for all

I commit myself to clearly and self-honestly communicate with my partner especially when I have resistance come forth or experience uncomfortably and rather than accept and give into resistance I go to it -- resistance is here to assist and support me to see where I still have not allowed myself to forgive myself, within this I gift myself with self-forgiveness and self-intimacy through self investigation, writing, self corrective statements and walking the correction to be an example of how to walk within and as agreement that is best for all life equally