Saturday, December 8, 2012

Day 40: Nothing to say

Well today I'm not feeling so good, I have been tired all day and there is a heaviness throughout my body. I don't have much to write about I did want to talk about cleaning again so that I can complete my last post but right now it doesn't seem so relevant. I had to force myself to blog today, I just feel sad and listless. I know I've been suppressing myself and this is probably just a build up of that but for some reason I don't want to express myself today. I feel shit and that's about it. I have committed to writing everyday even if it seems that it's non-constructive, I'm not even sure if that is a word. Anyway I still write here to support me, mostly I have this huge blockage in my throat and chest and I want to cry but I feel that maybe it's not important to cry and it would be a huge waste. Maybe crying will release this bent, twisted knot in my solar plexus I'm not sure, maybe I will cry, I don't want anyone to see me because I'm not sure why I feel like crying and I don't have a decent explanation. I don't really understand myself at the moment. I've had trouble remaining here all day nothing seems to make sense, I may be feeling sorry for myself so I will stop here.

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