Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Day 38: What part of housework doesn't he understand?



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated with men and wish that they could just understand what needs to be done in terms of housework and do it without being asked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that it is my responsibility to tell a man what he should do in terms of housework otherwise it won't get done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that men thought like women when it comes to household responsibilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish men thought

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all men as having an inability to be practical in terms of housework

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself as a victim

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react by telling my agreement partner that I don't want to be his mother and treat him as a child

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react because I fear becoming my mother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to nag at my agreement partner and not see realize or understand that is not practical nor an effective way to support him or myself in terms of self-responsibility and practical physical living

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to become bossy and feel authorized to be bossy because I feel I do more in terms of housework

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define household responsibilities as work and not see realize or understand that moving in the physical is not difficult and actually very supportive in terms of remaining here present

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want things done in a specified way and feel frustrated when it is not done in the way I have defined as acceptable and the right way

thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to micro-manage or just simply take over the household task they are working on because I do not trust they will do it to my standard

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the way I do things as the right way and the way he does things the wrong way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the household work done by my agreement partner as half-assed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to copy this character mimicking my mother and her mother and thus not breaking the cycle of the stereotypical female role women have accepted for eons of time -- bickerer, egotism, victimization, inferiority, self-pity, judgement, anger, back-chat, frustration, blame, righteousness, gossip, manipulator, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I need to praise my agreement partner when he cleans the house and back-chat that no one ever gives a shit if I clean why do we always make such a big damn deal about him?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back-chat that if  man would clean the house like he cleans his vehicle everything would be fine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry that my agreement partner won't get up and clean as soon as he see's me cleaning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my agreement partner of lacking common sense in terms of when things need to be cleaned

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to redo "chores" that my agreement partner did because I was dissatisfied with the way it was done in the first place

to be continued....




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