Day 41: Cleanliness is next to godliness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to clean out as a reaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to copy the cleaning character from my mother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recreate a program through accepting and allowing myself to exist as a cleaning character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back-chat about my mothers reactions to the condition of my home and wish she never came over for a visit in the first place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mothers reaction before her visit during her visit and judge myself after she left

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what my mother might say to me about how my house looks and then start cleaning from the reaction of fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to clean from the starting point of pleasing what I perceived my mothers idea of an acceptable clean home would look and smell like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged as dirty and as a slob

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people will think less of me if my house is not clean and orderly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as disorganized, dirty and a slob

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to clean from the polarity reaction of dirty is bad and clean is good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself if my house isn't clean and feel good about myself if my house is clean

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and listen to the words in my head "cleanliness is next to godliness" while I'm cleaning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that cleanliness is next to godliness and not actually consider what this saying means, if it is in fact common sense or fuzzy logic

Thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to clear my starting pointf rather then just blindly living words that I heard someone speak based on my idea of what it meant based on my beliefs, ideas and opinions

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider the atrocious conditions billions of people must suffer and accept as their standard living condition because of an unequal money system

I forgive myself thgat I have accepted and allowed myself to make such a huge deal out of cleaning while not considering others and how allowing and accepting back-chat is actually creating unhealthy living conditions for many beings in this world, humans, animals etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted or allowed myself to make cleaning into a positive and negatively charged event rather then simply seeing the common sense points to consider regarding cleanliness such as hygiene for example

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if someone makes a "mess" that they are somehow being disrespectful toward me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take messes personally whether they are my own or if others have made them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a huge deal of cleaning

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question the saying that cleanliness is next to godliness because if that were the case then how come god would allow such disgusting living conditions for so many beings so much so that even drinking water unclean and unsafe to drink

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame god for people living in disgusting living conditions and not realize that I am co-creating and equally participating in this world therefore I am equally responsible for cleaning it up and stopping the atrocities by prevention rather than getting to a point where so many people have to suffer at the hands of the elite because our monetary system is based on winners and losers
 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider that people have to sift through trash to find food because I have allowed and accepted a world that is unequal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be preoccupied within my own little bubble so much so that I have not considered all the consequences of allowing myself to exist as this cleaning character that only cares about my ego and wanting others to see me as clean and well put together

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize or understand that no one should ever have to live in an unclean unsafe environment

I commit myself to being a custodian to clear myself and clean up this world as myself so that no matter who or where anyone is at any given moment anyone can swap places with anyone and be satisfied because all are equal, respected and able live a life of dignity

I commit myself to practicing self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-correction so that one day I may stand equal to and one with self-trust within and as self-honesty within and as breath within and as moment here within and as self-expression

I commit myself to clean up the mess I have made I start here through writing to see where I am still self-dishonest forgiving myself within and as self-honesty and walk the necessary self-correction