Day 10: Once a cheater always a cheater?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to and cheat on men 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cheat myself out of the ability to express myself here as a real human being with care and consideration for myself and others as myself equal and one


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own thought patterns of always thinking about sex toward men


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself and judge myself for thinking about sex thus not allowing myself to see that I felt guilt for thinking about sex and rather than face myself and my participation in perverse thoughts project and turn self-judgement into judgement out there toward men so I never had to face myself and what I was participating in and as


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of sex and what it would be like to have sex with strangers and wonder how large their dick is


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at men and be curious how they would fuck


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be curious what it would be like to have a threesome


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and desire to be with many men so that I could experience all the different men out there so that I do not miss out on an experience


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an experience and not see that an experience is simply based in energy positive and negative and that because I want an experience I am not actually real here living breathing on earth but in separation to and toward something seeking to fulfill something I do not realize is not out there but here 


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be self-intimate because self-intimacy requires for me to embrace all of me here and sort myself out the good/bad and the ugly 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I must fuck multiple men in order to express myself sexually thus not realizing that I can express myself with one partner if I stopped thinking about sex and rather expressed myself here physically within self-honesty with and as another as equal


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never consider self-honesty and thus never allowed myself to embrace myself as self intimacy and intimacy with another as me equal and one


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to watch porn so that I can get tips on how to be a better lover 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like when men are aggressive in the bedroom so that I can feel innocent 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define sex and sexuality as bad/wrong/dirty


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a slut for liking sex


I forgive myself that I never accepted and allowed myself to realize that sex is simply another way to express myself here and does not require to have any attachments of guilt


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have booty calls so that I could have secret sex that no one but myself and the other person would know about so that I could express myself in my secrecy 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to keep that I enjoy sex a secret with people I have defined as superior to me


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to like secret sex and sex where someone could find out and get aroused by the idea of it rather then being here enjoying myself here with another as myself in the physical and not in my mind as thoughts 


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my human physical body and the body of others to maintain an energy high based on inferiority and superiority


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of all the different partners I have had sex 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately lie to every single man I went into a relationship with regarding how many partners I've been and with tell them that they were the best just to make sure they were feeling good about themselves thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself self-honest communication and always end up dissatisfied in the end because the communication was unclear and the entire starting point was a fuck up based in self-interest/ego/shame and self-deception


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself when I lied because I could act as if I was innocent and pure/clean


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having one night stands


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mutually use and be used for sex thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be entirely directed by my mind and never consider our physical human body's and what I put it through because I never considered my body only the energy I would get from having sex with men in secret


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have sex for a mind fuck


I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to go into a personality when having sex with strange men and express myself differently because I was not reserved and did not have to pretend to be sweet and innocent when I was truly a wolf in sheeps clothing waiting the next person to gain an energetic charge from


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become aroused by thinking about sex and not through physical touch


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as if I won something when I would have secret sex or cheat on men because I felt superior as if I got away with something, I got away with murder thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself every time I had sex because it was all about energy and not about what is real not about considering another as myself not about breath not about physical touch just ego games and vampirism


To be continued... Thanks for reading