Day 9: Men Why YOU!?

This blog is a continuation my blogs day:5 & day:8
I suggest reading those first to get a greater perspective of how this blog came about.

I commit myself to no longer allow or accept myself to exist as manipulation one who  uses men to gain something from them sex, money and energy

I see here I am not actually able to write out specific self corrective statements thus  I have not yet fully investigated who I am within this yet to the point of self realization with regards to actually taking responsibility therefore what is here is that I see that I have allowed myself to blame men and abuse men because I have allowed myself to separate myself from men and project my own feelings of inferiority toward men unto men and say nasty things like I hate men, men are nasty fucks, men suck, men are assholes, men are abusive, men are only good for two things, money and sex, men are stupid fucks, men are perverts, men only want one thing, men are pieces of shit and deserve to be treated poorly, men are players, men are dense, men are boring, men stick together and deceive women, men only care about one thing (sex) men always think with their dick heads and not their real heads and within this I have allowed and accepted myself to blame men for the self-judgement I have accepted and allowed of myself to ultimately attain a position of power and superiority in my mind to win. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior to men

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say nasty things about myself and then suppress those points through blaming and judging men so that I never have to take responsibility for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a nasty fucker

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as suckie

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as an asshole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as abusive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as only good for two purposes making money and having sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a stupid fuck

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as perverse 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for only wanting one thing from men thus I had never allowed myself to be intimate with me here within self-investigation, self-honesty, self-forgiveness, self-responsibility and self-correction to see what I was allowing and accepting and stop myself from existing as a spiteful, angry person 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite myself through accepting and allowing myself to blame and judge men and then project the anger I have toward myself at them 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself and others as one with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a piece of shit that only  deserves to be treated poorly

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that the only one that is able to treat me poorly is me 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be with men that treat me poorly so then I can confirm the idea I have of myself that men are in fact all the definitions I have believe them to be in my self-dishonesty so again I did not have to face myself and the consequences I create for myself for the acceptance and allowance of separation and self-dishonesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a player and become a player and play with men as if they are a commodity to fulfill all my wants and needs with their goods and services (money, sex and energy)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as dense and actually become dense meaning I allowed myself to build up this dense fort as defense so that I would never have to take responsibility for myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider myself boring, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the manifestation of bordem from the perspective that I always did the same tricks in an attempt to not face consequence the reality of what I have allowed as myself the limitation I have allowed as myself, the fear I have allowed of and as myself, the blame and self-judgement I have allowed myself to exist as and express as if I were real when in reality I was not real at all just a program living out a pre-programmed life an organic robot that only acted from the starting point of reactions, feelings, emotions, opinions, fear ect. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only allow women to know what I was really up to being honest but still not self honest as a way to get back at men and build up an idea that I had comradery with another and used that point as a way to justify all the blame and judgement I was projecting onto men (men are bad women are good)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge men as bad and women as good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in polarity manifestations of the mind consciousness system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define all women as inferior to men therefore I allowed the feeling of  needing to form a team or group to stand with to combat men to stand with women as equal enforcers of my beliefs

I will continue my investigations and self-forgiveness in the blog to come, it is again time for bed... Thanks for reading.