Day 7: Heaviness Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist writing more on the topic of weight gain

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about what I will say this time around have have future projections of not getting to the core of weight gain because it has so many dimensions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I am not aware enough to fully see what I have allowed and accepted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility for what I have created through using the excuse that I am not aware enough to understand myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as spite

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find anything to do other than write out my self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not find the vocabulary to forgive myself correctly and to write out self corrective statements correctly

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear gaining weight

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will always gain weight because I will never be able to be self-honest about food and my relationship to food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as inferior to food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I am unable to make clear decisions about food and eating

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define fat as negative as something disgusting / revolting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from fat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my human physical body to such an extent that I do not know what is supportive for my body with regards to food and eating

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will never figure out what to eat and will always be subject to being fat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project that food causes me to become fat while all the while disregarding how I have created my body this way through eating for the mind and not as self support for my body here equal and one with food as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my body because I was in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I will never figure this out as a back-door excuse for not wanting to actually forgive myself for my acceptance and allowances

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make eating to be an experience rather then me simply eating to support my body standing equal to all foods as me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge food and to fear food because of the many judgement's allowed myself to project onto food

I forgive myself for not allowing or accepting myself to be here present within and as breath while I eat but rather I have immediately allowed myself to participate in back-chat about the food the portion the effect the food might have on my body how the food will make me look

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear looking a certain way because I have given value to a picture

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to look good on the outside as a particular picture (thin) so people will judge me as the picture so that no one will ever know what is going on within me and think I have it all together

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the self judgement I have accepted and allowed onto others and through this abdicate self-responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self-responsibility and through this allow my body to suffer the consequence

I forgive myself that I have not allowed and accepted myself to see that my body is here supporting me as it to see what I have allowed and accepted so that I can face myself and the inner darkness I want to keep secret from everyone most of all myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn to food as a way to cope with the inner conflict I exist as instead of breathing, writing, applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements and walk the correction here within and as the physical

I commit to writing when conflicts arise and no longer allow myself to turn to food to cope with what is here as me but rather breath, write, apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements and walk the correction because I am able to do so - it is my responsibility to correct myself for all self-dishonesty I have allowed, accepted and created

Gaining weight is not about food its about me not directing myself to take self-responsibility for memories, emotions, feelings, thoughts, judgements ect. It is not food at all its not my body's fault my body has supported me equal and one within showing me through weight gain that I was missing myself I was missing the point the point is me.